Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Essay #6

Outline for 4-Paragraph Essay

Main Point or Thesis of Essay- What people think/see when they look in the mirror
Bell Word- Acceptance

Paragraph 1 -- Opening

Hook- What do you see when you look in mirror?
Comment on the Hook- Something good/bad?
Comment on the Hook- See just yourself?
Thesis (With Bell Word)- What does your reflection mean to you?

Paragraph 2 -- First Body Paragraph

TS (Main Idea, Topic, or Thesis)- What would Mr.Lorry, Lucie Manette, and her father see when they looked in a mirror.
2 Echo Words to be Used- Satisfaction, approval

SD- Lucie Manette, someone who has endured the impossible.
CM-Thought her father was dead
CM- Now is happy

SD-Mr.Lorry, happy with what he sees
CM- Has become all he can be
CM- Living happy life

SD- Doctor Manette, someone who isn't sure of his past.
CM- Can see physical features, but not sure of the person he is looking at
CM- Not sure whether good or bad

CS- Characters for the most part accept who they see, still might have some things they would like to work on

Paragraph 3 -- Second Body Paragraph

TS (Main Idea, Topic, or Thesis)- What do I see in the mirror
2 Echo Words to be Used- Approval, doubt

SD- Unsure what I will become
CM- Not sure of my path
CM- Have to trust I will be able to make the right decisions

SD- Times when I don't like the person int he mirror
CM- Remind myself that no one is perfect
CM- Accept my faults and move on

SD- Happy that the person in the mirror is strong
CM- Can handle almost anything
CM- Can support herself and will always be able to do that

CS- Don't need to obsess over what I think I see, need to keep moving forward

Paragraph 4 -- Closing

Hook (The same as paragraph 1, or different)- Mirror can help people see themselves clearly
Echo Words (Could be bell word)- Acceptance
Comment on the Hook- Makes you reflect on who you are
Comment on the Hook- Can't use to often because you will forget to move forward
Re-statement, in Slightly Different Words, of the Thesis- Helps you answer the question "Who am I?"

TS What do we see when we look in the mirror? CM Do we see something good? Something bad? CM Everybody sees themselves in a different way, whether it be in a positive, negative, or neutral way. CS Our reflection means so much to us, too much to us.

TS What would Lucie Manette, Mr. Lorry, and Dr. Manette think when they looked in a mirror? Each would see something different because each character is unique in their own way. SD Lucie Manette would probably see someone who has endured the impossible. CM For her entire life she was under the belief that her father had died many years ago. CM Having made it through this hard time in her life; Lucie Manette is probably at a very happy place in her life right now. SD Mr. Lorry would probably see someone very happy with himself and his life. CM He is successful and has become all that he can be so far in his life. CM He has gotten to a good place in his life and is happy. SD Dr. Manette would probably see a person with a mixture of emotions, but ultimately someone who is happy. CM He would not be completely sure of the person he was looking at, not sure if he was good or bad. CM However, the mirror would also tell a story of someone who has been saved by someone he loves. CS For the most part, Lucie Manette, Mr. Lorry, and Dr. Manette are happy with the faces they see in the mirror. They approve of the people they have become and are ready to move on from the past.

TS When I look in the mirror, I am quite often insecure of what I see, but at the same time, I have accepted who I am. SD There are times that I am uncertain of what I will become, not wanting to make mistakes along the way. CM The path that I am on now is extremely unstable, twisting and turning at the slightest sign, giving me a moments notice or less to re-adjust. CM I have to have faith, however, that life will keep me on my feet as long as I try to keep moving forward. SD There is also times that I don't like the person staring back at me when I look in the mirror. CM I have to remind myself that no one is perfect, and that obsessing about the traits I cannot change will not help me what so ever. CM By accepting my faults and reminding myself of these things, I am able to move on and try to become a better person. SD I am also content knowing that the person on the other side of the mirror is strong, just like me. CM I know that I can handle almost anything, from change to drastic occurrences. CM I have the luxury of knowing that I can support myself as well as others. CS By taking a step back from the mirror and looking at everything I can do, I know I will be able to continue to move forward, taking everything I do to another level.

TS The mirrors that we look at ourselves in can be useful in as many ways it can be destructive. CM For some, the mirror brings acceptance to who they are. They can see what everybody else sees, imagine what it would be like to meet them for the first time. CM However, the mirrors that grant us a way of seeing who we are can make us become obsessed with what other people think. Worrying about how you look or who you are perceived is one of the disadvantages of having this tool. CS Though there are more than two sides to a mirror, it can help you ask, and maybe answer the question, "Who am I?".

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Martha's Vineyard

Day 1

Pain

Looking out the bus window, confined to the edge of the small seat, I am in pain.

Pain because part of me doesn't want to be on this trip, pain every time I think of my dog who recently died, pain from fear that my horse wont recover from his mysterious illness, and pain from the numbness in my leg from sitting still to long.

My mind is revolving around these four catastrophes, save the fourth, while I watch the minutes go by on the clock.

Every once and a while I am unwillingly snapped back to reality, becoming more impatient and more unhappy.

How can I break this spiteful circle?

How can I rid myself of this pain?


Calm

Green fields and clear skies,

Blue water and sandy shores,

Not a person in sight.

It is calm here.

It's not because of the sights,

And it's not because of the reputation,

The smell, the air, the feel of the Earth,

Everything here breathes "calm".

No traces of war or hate,

Just peace and calm.

Is there any other place like this?

Anywhere closer to home so I can spend my stressful days there?

Probably not.

Places like this are far and few between,

Usually packed with wishful people.

But somehow this little island is empty.

The streets are full and the stores are occupied,

but this field, this beautiful wonderful field, is somehow empty.

Where are the people?

How can they not see what is so obviously here?

This land is clean, innocent,

Calm.


Day 2

This Island of Mine

They say this place is wonderful.

They say this place has beauty.

But to me it's just an island.

What's so special about this place?

The grass is green, the sky is blue.

These are all things we have back home.

Beaches with white powder sand and two ton boulders like polka dots on a velvet blanket.

Forests with a thousand shades of green and brown.

Air so pure you head is wiped clean of any infectious thought it might hold.

Maybe they were right about this place and it's secret beauty.

Maybe this little island of mine is something more, something that has the power to make us stop and stare.

They say this place is wonderful.

They say this place has beauty.

But to me it has so much more.

Man Hunt

The darkness presses on me, suffocating me.

The cold makes me numb, makes me slow.

The occasional screams unnerve me, gives everything a new edge.

Why we play this game, I have no idea.

Hiding and searching for people in the dark, never knowing if someone is going to jump out and grab you.

Intentional fear, that's why we do this.

A prescribed dose of adrenaline for our hearts.

All of us need a good dose of fear every once and a while.

But even with this being said and understood,

I can't help but be scared.


Day 3

Aquinah

I just got the perfect shot, and I owe it all to Aquinah. With it's spectacular beaches and magnificent sunsets it has provided me with the perfect photo opportunity. I can't give all the credit to Aquinah, however. There were a few people who participated with this amazing shot. Placing the rocks precariously on top of each other, trying time and time again until... Ah! Perfection! The timing couldn't have been better either. The sun, bright and fiery orange was directly behind the stones, casting an orb of light around it. The sea was dark and the sky blue. I couldn't have asked for more. And I owe it all t0 Aquinah.


Day 4

Home Sick

As much as I hate to admit it, I am home sick.

I remember when I was younger, and leaving home was something to fear, something to dread.

Now, of course, that all seems ridiculous.

But I can't help but feel home sick.

I miss my room, my bed, my mother.

Even though I know I will be home tomorrow afternoon I can't help the longing I feel.

Even with this being said I will miss this beautiful place.

It seems I can't win.

An even though I hate to admit it,

I am home sick.

Essay #5

10/12/10

Jade

Mr.Salsich

English 9

What Would You Do:

An Essay on the Choices You Would Make In an Impossible Situation

Imagine a world where the impossible is possible. Where people who were thought to be dead show up. In the book A Tale of Two Cities, Charles Dickens uses several different writing techniques that make his writing more powerful. He makes you wonder what it would feel like, what would you do if you were put in that position.

TS In the chapter, The Shoemaker, from A Tale of Two Cities, Luci Manette is reunited with her father after having spent twenty years under the belief he was dead. SD Dickens once again shows one of his more powerful techniques of expressing the characters emotions by using influential dialog in chapter six. CM Luci Manette is trying to communicate with her father in some way when she says, "If you hear in my voice -- I don't know that it is so, but I hope it is -- if you hear in my voice any resemblance to a voice that once was sweet music in your ears, weep for it, weep for it!" (Dickens, 48). CM This is a wonderful example of how intense Dickens can make a situation or conversation. You can almost feel what Manette is feeling: worry, stress, hope, and fear. SD Dickens also has a powerful way of describing his characters in such a way it leaves you begging to know more. For example, when he describes Luci Manette, he says, "... a pair of blue eyes that met [my] own with an inquiring look, and a forehead with a singular capacity (remembering how smooth it was), of lifting and knitting itself into an expression that was not quite one of perplexity, or wonder, or alarm, or merely of a bright fixed attention, though it included all the four expressions..." (Dickens, 23). CM The writing technique that Dickens displays here is one that is used perfectly. CM He describes the character in such a way that you want to know more, want to know why, want to know how. SD Finally, Dickens use of similes enhances his writing in such a way it flows elegantly. CM He writes, " His cold white head mingled with her radiant hair, which warmed and lightened it as though it were the light of Freedom shining on him." (Dickens, 48). CM Dickens describes this moment as though it were like the sun breaking through the clouds in a magnificent display, something so powerful, eager to be noticed, exited to finally make an appearance, not wasting a second of time, ready to make a difference (Coordinating Cumulative Sentence). CS Dickens uses of different, powerful writing techniques make his work unique and extraordinary.

TS If I were do discover that my father was alive, after having spent my entire life thinking he had died, I would probably be feeling a very complex mixture of emotions. SD I can relate better to this subject when compared to other hypothetical situations because I have never met my father. Ever since I can remember, I have been able to acknowledge that my father died before I was born and there was nothing I could do to change it. CM If, by some miracle, it turned out that my father had in fact not died so many years ago, the first emotion I would probably feel is disbelief. CM It would make no logical sense that my mother would be lying to me for the last fifteen years. Even if she had no idea that he was still alive, it would be hard to believe. SD Once I got over the disbelief and skepticism, I would probably feel anger and grief. CM Who would keep my father from me for so long? And if that’s not the case, why would he hide from me for fifteen years? CM I would hold on to anything that would make the impossible situation have a flaw. SD And if, after all this, I got the answers I found fitting and reasonable, I would be overcome with joy. CM Nothing would be able to sully the moment. Nothing would separate us again. CM From that point on I would work hard to keep our relationship strong, staying connected, spending time together, making up for time lost, treasuring memories as they were created, not letting things get to tense or distant, and staying honest (Coordinating Cumulative Sentence). CS Even though this particular situation would be wonderful if true, the likely hood of it is one of great insignificance. Emotions would fly, words would be said, questions asked with one final result. It would be the best thing that had ever happened to me.

What would you do if someone you thought was long dead turned out to be alive? Would you be frightened, happy, sad? Dickens asks questions like these and more that demand more than just a passing glance. His writing techniques provide you with a story that is both powerful and surprisingly easy to relate to.


Self Assessment

1. Something I Need To Work On

One thing I need to work on is making sure I re-read my essays and making sure there are no comma splices or punctuation errors.

2. One Strong Point

I think that one of my strong points is word placement. When I write, I think that I am able to place my words in an order that makes the sentence sound more clear and articulate.

3. One Possible Weak Point

I feel that one definite weak point I have when writing is getting carried away and loosing my unity.

4. The Grade I Would Give Myself

For this essay I would give myself a B+. I had difficulties writing the opening and closing paragraphs because I was unclear about the topic.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Essay #3 Personification

Jade
9/29/11
Mr.Salsich
English 9

Personification:
Giving Inanimate Objects Life

TS If we lived in a world where inanimate objects could come to life, our possessions would have a lot more meaning. CM If our material possessions sporadically came to life, talking to us, getting up and walking around, we would see them as something of more value, something more than just material. CM Even with this being said, we take more value in our material possessions than we realize. CS They mean something more to us, something worth keeping around.

TS When I think of my room, I think of it as something or someone that is looking over me. SD Every time I walk through my door, taking in the soft colors, looking at the aged wood on the floor, admiring the photographs from a past life, reveling in the feeling of utter safety and peace, contemplating the fact that this place is all mine, I can't help but think of my room as something or someone looking over me. CM Whenever I am going through a rough patch in my life, I am able to crawl into my bed and forget about what is going on. CM I feel so safe, like nothing can get me, nothing can hurt me. There is no other place that can put me at ease like my room. SD It is as if my room is a guardian of sorts, watching over me and protecting me. CM It makes sure I have a safe and warm place to come to when I am alone. CM It makes sure that there are no monsters in the closet, nothing hiding underneath my bed. SD My room also makes sure I can have fun while I am there. CM It provides a relaxed atmosphere for friends when they come over and ensures a good time. CS The guardian that is my room is something I am blessed to have. Something that looks after me, something that makes the fears and cold things go away, something that can bring happiness.

TS I find that my collegiate convertible saddle is like a best friend. SD It has been through some of the worst falls with me, from the time I fell off and landed on the fence to the time I was dumped in a puddle of mud. CM Every time I fall off, my saddle is always there, waiting for me to get back on. CM No matter how bad the fall is, or how embarrassing, I know I will be able to get back into my comfortable saddle and finish riding. SD My saddle is also extremely helpful and supportive when it comes to jumping. CM It is understood by equestrians that it is important to have a snug, forward cut saddle with large knee roles to ensure the rider is comfortable and has support while also allowing the horse to move freely underneath it. CM Every time I jump, my saddle is supporting me, guiding me through the difficult motions until we glide over the jump effortlessly. SD Finally, when it comes to comfort, my saddle is the only one I can trust. CM In the literal sense, the soft leather, large knee roles, forward cut design, and perfectly shaped seat are a huge comfort to me every time I ride. It is also comforting for me to know that even if I loose my balance or is taken by surprise, there is a good chance I will be fine. CS My saddle has been a good friend to me ever since I got it, protecting me, supporting me, and helping me whenever I need it.